On having double standards

I've realised I have double standards in my reading. I'm absolutely guilty of hating things in one book that I will tolerate or even love in another. Dangerous BDSM being one of those things. In some books, I start to read about casual hook-ups engaging in bondage 'n stuff and think "oh how stupid, you couldn't do that in real life, recipe for disaster and it's giving kink a bad name." And then I'll read something similar in another book and think "ooh that's a bit risque, but it's fiction, it's all just fantasy and it's hot and I'm going to devour this book in one sitting." Standard romance storylines are another example. Sometimes I fling my kindle down in exasperation (literally; I can be melodramatic) because I find a story formulaic and unbelievable; other times I'll set those misgivings aside because something about the story gets me hooked.

So I admit it, I'm a hypocrite. But it makes me think about what it is that makes me able to accept it in some books and not in others. Partly it's about suspension of disbelief, the quality of writing that draws you in and convinces you that something fantastical could be real. And I think that's created by the quirky little details that stop characters and settings being cardboard cutouts. And partly I think it's about knowing what you're writing, realising what you're doing when you write the fantasy stuff that's not realistic and certainly not a how-to guide for novice kinksters.

All of this reminds me of a post by Violet Fenn over at Kay Jaybee's place in which she puts erotica writers in two camps - insiders and outsiders. Insiders who write it because they live it, it's their world and they want to see that portrayed in fiction. And outsiders who are writing for the excitement of what is to them still a forbidden thrill, as well as the, probably misguided, thought that it's where there's a fortune to be made. It's an interesting way to look at things and brings some insights, although as with any attempt to categorise people it's going to have its shortcomings. 

I tend to assume that everyone's going to have at least messed about with a pair of handcuffs at some point, forgetting that actually getting in touch with your kinky side, if you have one (are there people who don't?!?), is a journey people might make at different points in their lives, if at all. But I think that if you haven't ever judged a bed on its anchor points and you suddenly decide to write bondage stories, it's going to show (and you won't make a fortune anyway.) And those are the stories that exasperate me instead of seducing me.