Monday, 16 September 2013

Guest - Oleander Plume

I have the fantabulous Oleander Plume visiting today, talking about her first foray into writing erotica. She's my book-fellow in The Women Who Love to Love Gay Romance. Her story is both sexy and funny and uses the amazing phrase: 'Oh, holy sweet shit on a cracker.' Here she is:

I used to write erotica with the door locked and the shades drawn. Sure, I tell various friends and family members that I 'write', but I never give details. The only one that I let in on my little secret is my husband. How I broke the news to him is kind of a funny story. It went something like this:

Me: Um, you know I've been writing a lot more lately.

Him (he was staring at a football game on ESPN): Yeah, I know, the laundry is really piling up.

Me: Well, I have a short story I'd really like you to read.

Him (still staring at TV): Okay, yeah, sure.

Me: It's different from my usual stuff, um, it's dirty.

His head jerked my direction so fast I thought he was going to have whiplash.

Him: Huh?

Me: Yeah. I'm writing smut now, it's what I do.

Him (wearing a large grin): Can I read it now? (he grabbed for my laptop)

Me: Fine, but don't laugh at me. And don't judge me. And don't tell anybody.

Him: Shh, reading.

I sat next to him on the couch, wringing my hands and turning five different shades of red. He started sweating, and shifting in his seat.

Him: Holy shit.

Me: Do you hate it? Oh, crap, I should have never let you...

Him: Shh, reading.

Occasionally he would glance at me with a stunned expression on his face. I need to mention, he's a slow reader, so watching him read is like watching paint dry. Finally, he got to the end. He sort of nodded, then looked at me.

Him (shrugs): It's good.

Me: It's good? That's all you have to say? You're really saying you hated it, right?

Him (he gave me a glare, then lifted the laptop): Does it look like I hated it?

Me: Oh. OHHHHHHHHHH!

Incidentally, that story went on to win a contest. Consequently, I use him as my barometer before I send anything out. It's a body part that never lies.

*****

Thanks for visiting, Oleander! You can get your hands on a copy of The Women Who Love to Love Gay Romance at  Amazon.comAmazon UKAll Romance and Smashwords.
And you can find Oleander blogging at oleanderplume.blogspot.co.uk and tweeting @OleanderPlume.
And you can comment to tell me how to get rid of the damn white background, should you so wish.


3 comments:

  1. LOL great story, I was sent here from Oleander's blog. And sorry, I've been blogging on this site for years and I still have no idea how to navigate the quirks of the system. It just seems to do whatever it wants. :(
    -Michelle

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  2. I get similar reactions from Tony...lol. Except sometimes he's looking for himself in the stories no matter how many times I tell him I never do that.

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  3. Lol, I LOVE it! I too have a bunch of family and friends who know that I'm writing, and who know that I'm writing "romance," and that's about the extent of it. I made the mistake of letting one friend know that it's, ahem, more erotic than mainstream romance, and recently another friend said -- at a night out with the girls -- "so you're writing porn, huh?" So now other friends (who don't know the "porn" angle), and even worse, colleagues through my work, are starting to ask when they can read some of it, and I just don't know what to do about that. I figure if I ever actually sell something, make even a tiny bit of money, then maybe I'll feel validated enough, but for now I worry it will be too easily dismissed as... well, "porn."

    Thanks for sharing, Oleander, this is a great story of how it *should* work when you make the big reveal, and thanks Tilly for featuring Oleander on your lovely blog! :)

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